19th September

I haven’t written in a while, not only because I haven’t felt inspired but also because I came to new realisation that I needed to put into perspective.



Barry and I received our latest Amazon order, a book called Sailing Promise, written by Alayne Main. She sailed around the world on a 33’ catamaran with her husband. This book was particularly eye opening as it dealt more with the emotional side of undertaking this trip and gave me a new perspective on the trip itself.

Up until now, I, like Alayne, have had off pat answers to the obviously fears and questions thrown in my direction. What about storms? We will check the weather and avoid them mostly, or we will sail through them. What about sinking? Catamarans don’t really sink they can capsize but then you can stay on the upside down ship waiting for rescue. What about dealing with the motion? Seasickness pills and the knowledge that; 3 days in I will recover and so on and so forth. Every question has a textbook answer.

I never really took any time to consider the real emotions I would feel and the effect that may or may not have on my relationships with my husband and children. Kyle, in particular, has been struggling with the idea of going on a boat and is fearful (as I am) even in calm waters. I just assumed we would both “get over it”. That by the time we had completed the shakedown cruise we would be comfortable and able crew on this adventure.

Reading this book made we realise that perhaps it may end up being slightly more difficult, my fear may not subside rapidly and Barry may take major strain trying to be husband, skipper, father, cook, navigator, teacher, emotional supporter and crew all alone in the middle of a stormy evening! Barry too may feel the fear I feel in these moments and our only help and assistance will be each other. We may argue, disagree and even want to give up at times. None of these things had ever really occurred to me as I had never taken the time to really consider the trip from this angle, to really look deep into my heart to discover the emotional strain this could and probably would place on each and every one of us.

So I guess the questions I had to really ask myself after considering all of this were:
Do I still want to go? Hell YES!
Am I more terrified than before? Hell YES!

But I take refuge in the fact that Barry and I have spent every waking hour together for the last 15 years and still we enjoy each other, we deal with our differences and feed of each other’s strengths and weaknesses. I believe none of this will change, I believe we will continue to be a powerful team, dealing with life and all it throws at us with the same attitude we have up to now. I trust we will learn more about each other and compensate more for each other than ever before. I trust this journey, like all those we have already completed will bring us closer, make us stronger and give us greater understanding.

Who am I trying to convince? Myself? Probably, but as our departure date inches closer, so the truth of our decision becomes clearer.